just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
