What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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