Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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