There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
