The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
