Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
