# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we're making bets on your personal life
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
