I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
