This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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