I think im going to throw up on grandma
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Do vagina's smell?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
