I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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