I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize