I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
