I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
