Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
