Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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