I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize