My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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