i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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