i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
