I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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