Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You took a bar mat shot.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
