their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
