Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize