i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
