Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
