My Higher Power is John Stamos
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
