We're like a lot better than the average bears
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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