Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
