Me too!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
of course. lets lasso hookers.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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