Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
