yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You ruined the universe
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
