Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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