your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
