so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
