What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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