shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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