when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i've created a new STD.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
