Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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