Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
