Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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