**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Randomize
