And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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