Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
