if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
4 words: hood of his car
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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