My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
