Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
