my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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