The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
