fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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