What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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