I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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