I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wish I only lived at night.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
